Growth spurts...

About a month ago, a friend of mine told me that I'd make a horrible stay at home mom... because I had told her I was hating the sleepless nights, being the only foodsource, etc... I told her I was having a hard time without sleep and I was feeling frustrated that Anooj wasn't helping me as well as I'd hoped he would (more on that later).
It's funny, because I realized that not many women tell you the whole truth about being a new mom. They hide all the details... But here's why. When you tell people that "being the only foodsource" is hard, then people (usually those who have never been the only foodsource before, but even those who have) either have bliss and flowery splendidness to share, or remind you of the stinking obvious...
Like this:
"You can pump, right? Surely you can pump and someone else can feed the baby for you, right?"
C'mon. Really? Like I hadn't thought of that! Like I don't have a freaking FREEZER full of milk for other people to help me!
But at 3 in the morning, you're going to hear the baby crying while a bottle gets warmed up, and your breasts will be leaking and huge all over the place, and you'll end up being the one to feed your baby anyway or he'll scream himself into a tizzy which is horrible for any parent to listen to (and you may as well feed him, because you'll have to just get up and pump if you don't feed your baby).

OR this:
"I just loved those nights alone with my baby, being up holding my baby and feeding her - I really miss those nights alone with her, how great they were, and I just miss them now!"
So basically, if I don't think this is happygoodtimes, then I must just be a freak!

Now don't get me wrong! Feeding a baby with your body is truly the most amazing thing a woman is capable of doing. It is absolutely great. Knowing that you make the most perfect food for your baby, to make him grow and even get chubby, and you don't have to heat it up on the stove first - well that's just cool. It really is. And watching your baby hold on to you as they LOVE what you made for them - it's just awesome.
That's not what I'm talking about.
At all.

I also mentioned that men are basically useless when it comes to anything baby related - they've never been brought up with the idealizations of parenthood like girls have. We have dollies and learn how to hold them, and be nice to them, we practice feeding them, changing their diapers and clothes... we watch other mothers, knowing that one day we could actually be a mother too. We have been trained and groomed for this.
Men haven't.
Men are completely dumb about baby stuff - until we instruct them what to do!
When I whined about Anooj not helping me as much, it was basically because I wanted him to read my mind - and jump in when I thought he should, but without me haveing to tell him that I needed him to.
My mother actually was the one who gave me good advice about this:
A man with a list of things to do, is a good man. A man with a wife who writes a good list (and explains things too!), is a great man. :)

So I guess I'm trying to use this blog to get my truth out there without getting any stupid remarks about the way that I feel - there are too many women who think this is all candy and roses, and I'll have to say that it's not. And I'm NOT saying I wouldn't do it again, or that I don't love the little man I've been feeding and changing for 3 months - because I would, and I do. This has been the worst best time of my life! It's a crazy, sleepless, spitup-filled burrito of cheesy goodness!

Of course, all of this comes on the eve of the 3rd month too - this is about the time that everything falls in place (albeit the sleep is still hit or miss). Your baby turns into a human, who smiles at you when you wipe his butt, and splashes and plays in the tubby, and it's amazing! All of the "Groundhog Day" days have finally fine-tuned your day into an efficient baby-house-man-keeping machine. It has gotten way better.

And I think I'd make a kick ass stay at home mom.