Monday, June 30, 2008

Growth spurts...

About a month ago, a friend of mine told me that I'd make a horrible stay at home mom... because I had told her I was hating the sleepless nights, being the only foodsource, etc... I told her I was having a hard time without sleep and I was feeling frustrated that Anooj wasn't helping me as well as I'd hoped he would (more on that later).
It's funny, because I realized that not many women tell you the whole truth about being a new mom. They hide all the details... But here's why. When you tell people that "being the only foodsource" is hard, then people (usually those who have never been the only foodsource before, but even those who have) either have bliss and flowery splendidness to share, or remind you of the stinking obvious...
Like this:
"You can pump, right? Surely you can pump and someone else can feed the baby for you, right?"
C'mon. Really? Like I hadn't thought of that! Like I don't have a freaking FREEZER full of milk for other people to help me!
But at 3 in the morning, you're going to hear the baby crying while a bottle gets warmed up, and your breasts will be leaking and huge all over the place, and you'll end up being the one to feed your baby anyway or he'll scream himself into a tizzy which is horrible for any parent to listen to (and you may as well feed him, because you'll have to just get up and pump if you don't feed your baby).

OR this:
"I just loved those nights alone with my baby, being up holding my baby and feeding her - I really miss those nights alone with her, how great they were, and I just miss them now!"
So basically, if I don't think this is happygoodtimes, then I must just be a freak!

Now don't get me wrong! Feeding a baby with your body is truly the most amazing thing a woman is capable of doing. It is absolutely great. Knowing that you make the most perfect food for your baby, to make him grow and even get chubby, and you don't have to heat it up on the stove first - well that's just cool. It really is. And watching your baby hold on to you as they LOVE what you made for them - it's just awesome.
That's not what I'm talking about.
At all.

I also mentioned that men are basically useless when it comes to anything baby related - they've never been brought up with the idealizations of parenthood like girls have. We have dollies and learn how to hold them, and be nice to them, we practice feeding them, changing their diapers and clothes... we watch other mothers, knowing that one day we could actually be a mother too. We have been trained and groomed for this.
Men haven't.
Men are completely dumb about baby stuff - until we instruct them what to do!
When I whined about Anooj not helping me as much, it was basically because I wanted him to read my mind - and jump in when I thought he should, but without me haveing to tell him that I needed him to.
My mother actually was the one who gave me good advice about this:
A man with a list of things to do, is a good man. A man with a wife who writes a good list (and explains things too!), is a great man. :)

So I guess I'm trying to use this blog to get my truth out there without getting any stupid remarks about the way that I feel - there are too many women who think this is all candy and roses, and I'll have to say that it's not. And I'm NOT saying I wouldn't do it again, or that I don't love the little man I've been feeding and changing for 3 months - because I would, and I do. This has been the worst best time of my life! It's a crazy, sleepless, spitup-filled burrito of cheesy goodness!

Of course, all of this comes on the eve of the 3rd month too - this is about the time that everything falls in place (albeit the sleep is still hit or miss). Your baby turns into a human, who smiles at you when you wipe his butt, and splashes and plays in the tubby, and it's amazing! All of the "Groundhog Day" days have finally fine-tuned your day into an efficient baby-house-man-keeping machine. It has gotten way better.

And I think I'd make a kick ass stay at home mom.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Day 3... Month 3!

I'm in training this week (and next) - full days of work in the office... And today is the third day in...
Dax is with Melanie and Justin during the day, and I'm pumping as often as possible to make sure I can feed him when we finally make it home...
This is hard.
Not only does pumping this often hurt like hell by the end of the day (though it hurts more not to), but the nights have not been sleepful... making the days that much harder to deal with.
Dax was up, and eating, nearly every hour last night, and I think it might be that his schedule (eating every 3 hours) was a little disrupted yesterday - he kept sleeping through his scheduled feedings (totally not Melanie's fault at all - who's gonna wake up a sleeping baby?? definitely not me)...

But - today is Dax's THREE MONTH birthday!!
Happy Birthday kiddo!

So, he might be going through a little growth spurt again, too...
Who knows, right?
They always say, it's right about the time that you think you have it all figured out with your baby, that something blows up and nothing works like it did before.
So there you go.

My eyes are drooping and I'm trying to deal with the rest of the day...

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Aw. C'mon.

I love this kid.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

It's Bathtime!! (and SLEEPtime!)

Ok - if you're still looking for the best tubby that will make it easier on you to give your baby a bath, then I have to tell you to look no further!
Dax has outgrown being able to lay in the sink as I bathe him on that yellow spongy thing... and I have tried many different tubby helpers... many of which either don't allow Dax to be in the water at all (which is really stupid, in my opinion... even as a newborn, I wanted him to be IN the water), or had stupid hot-water warning goodies like these (our bodies are a nice toasty 98.6 degrees. A bath full of water that's 50 degrees is not only going to eventually make your baby go into hypothermia, but it will REALLY piss him off!), or make it so painful on your back to bathe them in the actual tub, that you might as well just get in the tub with him (which is also not a bad idea, honestly).

But this! This tub is magnificent!
It's the Primo Euro Infant and Toddler Bath (mine's white, but you can get it in colors, apparently) - and it's BIG (not to mention, cheap!). My back was not aching when we finished our bath last night, and just when we thought that bathtime was not going to wear our baby out for bedtime (we had seriously just had that discussion about two hours before I purchased this tub, and which is really what we were hoping for - a little routine that included a nice warm tubby time to make him sleepy for bed), Dax had SO much fun squirming and splashing and kicking in this thing, he wore himself out and slept... well... like a baby! It was fan-freaking-tastic!

I'll have video up of this after tonight's bath (I bathed him alone last night, so I'll have daddy take video tonight), because it's just too cool not to post my naked baby having a ball in his bath.

Now, let me tell you more about this tub, and why I think it's so freaking great.
It has a butt holder support, for both toddlers and infants (it says not to bathe them together in this thing, though, so if you have a toddler and an infant, you'd bathe them alone, and two toddlers would probably render this thing moot).
The infant side has a nice sloped headrest and curved butt support - no more FREAKING out about keeping his head up and literally having to hold your baby the entire bath - you just have to make sure he's not going to twist around and get his head in the water... I, of course, did not follow the directions, which say to only add 3 inches of water in there (why on earth they think my baby couldn't drown in 3 inches of water, as opposed to 10 - he's equally likely to drown in 1, 2, 3, or 10 inches of water, if you don't understand this* - is beyond me, and makes for a very cold bath), and I filled the tub up to a ridge on the side... (I actually filled it ALL way up, held him in there, and let water out until he was not floating in the water, and the water wasn't up to his ears - very cool that you can do that.)
The toddler side also uses the butt support, but it faces the other direction - holding your baby there as he sits - when he can sit up. It also keeps him fairly well covered in the water, which is fantastic!
This butt support is what makes this so nice on your back! You DO need to attend to your baby* to make sure he doesn't slip into the water, but it's not as intensive as the other bath goodies.

Once you see the video, you'll realize why tubby time was fun, AND useful - and why we got a good 6 hours of sleep from Mr. Dax last night!

Now, we've also tried this very cool duckie tubby but since Dax isn't sitting up by himself yet, it falls into the "kills your back" category for now... but it should be very good when he can sit up, and would also make a fun summer-time floaty in the pool*

*(with MUCH adult supervision, of course - you should never EVER leave your baby alone in or near water - see the note about 1-3 inches of water from the previous paragraphs... )

Bathtime video!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

It's official... now back to work!

I'm officially "back to work" now - it's been a whole week.
And it's been rough... but it's nice to be in the office now and then too.

My best friend Melanie took Dax on Tuesday and Wednesday so I could be present at a couple of meetings, and that was just an incredible thing that she did for me. I'm so blessed to have the kinds of friends I have now. I honestly always wondered if I'd have the kind of friends I'd need to raise a baby, by the time I decided to have one, and you know what? I have even better friends than that. It's pretty awesome.

It's hard balancing life with a baby... and with work. Not to mention the rest of life that keeps coming at me...
I'm amazed at the women who've done it before me.
Sh*t - I'm amazed at the women who've given birth before me - I'm empowered by that legacy. It's just mind boggling that women have done this FOREVER, and for whatever reason, the strength needed to do it, to birth a child, AND to raise it, has been basically glossed over...

I'm beginning to blather, but seriously. This is hardcore stuff.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Thas right, I got a buddy now!

Today we got a visit from one of my oldest friends, Erin, and her baby Rhys - nearly right off the plane from a trek "across the pond". We had a great time, and Rhys drooled on everything - I assume that means he had a good time too. :)
Rhys is also very good at the high-pitched squeal - very impressive. I think Dax will learn much from this little boy. :)

Here's some video from the day (note Dax busy sleeping in the background hehehe):