Hi, I starve my kid. Nice to meet you...

Yeah. So. Took Dax to the doctor yesterday to check his ears - we thought he might have an ear infection. Poor kid. He's been swiping at his ears for the past few days on and off (none at all yesterday, but we kept the appointment anyway).
So I get him in there, and the first thing we do is weigh him.
He weighs no more, and no less than the last time we were in there, which was about 5 weeks ago!
I was proud.
And here's why.
I had discovered a brilliancy in some "helpful information" that I had passed on to a girlfriend of mine regarding breastfeeding (poor girl). I had rambled on about why you should only feed your kid from one breast at a time, because the hind milk is what keeps babies happy longer - why give them just fore-milk when you can give them the richness of fatty love??
So I had a flash of realization.
If my kid is so HUGE, and he's sleeping through the night.... you guessed it... Why don't I switch him from one breast to the other while I'm feeding him??
I came up with the "2% Diet Plan" for him - giving him only 10-15 minutes of one breast and then switching him to the other until he was done, and I'd pull him off after 30 minutes, if he hadn't finished before then.
30 minutes had to be enough, right?
Hrm.
The doctor came in to the room with us, and said something nice about how he was sitting up so well, and then jumped right to the page that had his weight.
"He only weigh 18 pound...? He weigh 18 pound at LAST appointment... that was... a month ago! Really... almost 6 weeks ago!"
(she says it like this though: "..at LAST aponty-ment... dat was amont-ago! almos 6 weeks!")
So I told her my grand scheme... and she made clicking noises with her mouth (Dax is making sounds very similar to this these days, only a lot cuter).
We talked about how he's not rolling over yet (and she made a crack about me carrying him everywhere - which I don't! I play a lot on the floor with him, nearly every time he wakes up from a nap we play on the floor!), and she checked his ears (and took a whole lot of ear wax out of them for me), and he sat up some more for her.
Then she says,"So, no. You needa give him the fool [full] breast - he need all da good HIend millk. Next time I see him, I want him to be 20 pound! You got a lot o-feeding to do!" and as she walked out the door, she played with Dax and made him giggle,"You leetle cutie, mommy not feeding you enough, you tell her you need da fool breast, huh? You want the good stuff!", and she closed the door.
So great.
I've been starving him.
You'd never guess it though, to look at him...
:)
hehehehe